to decide. to let go. to move on

Life is full of options.

And being someone who generally takes a longer time to make a decision despite knowing very well what is good for me, and what i want deep inside, its always a very interesting process for me to finally make a decision that finally binds.

Having two big decisions always playing in my mind that I know very well i need to make, i have finally came to my 'senses' and decided on what i want to do. As decisions go, once you make one, there is a huge trade off to it forfeiting everything else the other option offers.

So what comes next will be to let go. To let go of the other option and everything that is associated to it may it be good or bad. All the things that may tempt you or pull you towards that other option.

Then it will be time to move on by committing to your decision and to never look back ( as tempting as it is - especially to me)

It feels good to have made the two major decisions i have made. However the next two steps are as crucial as the first. It will be interesting to see if i will ace the other two steps as well.

Wish me luck!

HONG KONG-ness :)

Just returned from HK!
All in all an awesome trip. Definitely the exact thing i need to recharge for the following 2 months or so before the next hols :) ( Bangkok with the girls wooots !!)
Eventhough it was my first time ever in HK but it felt so familiar. Prob due to the cantonese and ALL the TVB dramas i have watched prior to my trip. Prob felt more at home in HK than in Singapore. I guess i am super sure now that HK is one place that I would like to experience living in. It has the beauty of opportunities that Singapore has but at the same time the wonder of random living that Malaysia has. Perfect combination i would have to say.
Another reason why HK was so awesome for me is definitely the people! Felt so pampered by all the 'babysitting and nanny-ing' that was done. After having to have so many responsibilities on my shoulders in Singapore, being in HK where the only thing i had to do was following people around and enjoying the city in its awesomeness makes it a relaxing and enjoyable trip.

Meeting again ppl from APXLDS in Taiwan and IC in India is truly another highlight of my trip especially my darling Coey <3 My first meal in HK was with the whole EB of AIESEC Poly U and i feel so at home:) I guess AIESEC everywhere gives me a sense of home.always.

However as much as i love HK, when i was finally back on the flight back to Singapore, it felt pretty good heading back 'home' where my life is now. Its good coming back to my EB, my LT, my foursome, AIESEC Singapore and of course my girlfriends. And I ALWAYS feel that way whenever i am flying back INTO Singapore may it be from Europe, Taiwan or India. I guess despite my complains, I do feel like Singapore is my 'home' for now. I have no idea how long i will stay and where my future will bring me but for now, its good being 'home'.

starry eyed

Its been a rough patch recently. But its important to overcome and push forward. Thanks to the awesome people around me plus the support, may it be outright direct or invisible (though i can feel its presence) I am again fired up to go go go.

I can only remain in my negative state for so long before it starts to eat me up. Must always remember that for things to happen, its up to me. It is always up to me whether i want to make something out of a dreary situation or to just wallow in self pity not heading anywhere.

Ups AND downs is just part and parcel of life and my own decisions. Like it or not, nothing remains all sweet and nice forever. The downs just spices up the experience and gives room for self reflection, realisation and learning. Harvest all those and turn it positive :)

FIRED UP :) I am all starry eyed again and let this be a lesson to self that by being 'dull eyed' i dull everything around me seeing only the bad. By being all starry eyed, i see the stars in the darkest nights :) (this analogy is as complicated as can be - but stemming from someone so random, its expected i guess)

stop blog lost - losing faith

so many things happening, so many things to do, so many challenges, so much shit to face.

321, spanish, 301, 311, 209, 815 (=.= huge waste of time tqvm) , human relations, feelings , work, internships, cruel ( i mean it literally) quizzes, hardcore school, hardcore work

i am drowning with no life jacket in sight. getting lost in the sea of to dos, and challenges that come at the WRONG time.
i need a support system but i dun feel like talking, rather fading into nothing.

i need some light. i need inspiration. i need motivation. i need to be less jaded.
i need to be able to breathe
or i will drown in this turbulent sea i call my life.