BKK

annual trip to bkk with my girls :) i cannot wait for december again.. then its time to shop shop again :) ok just the word bkk makes me smile :D
its good to be able to make plans with the only consideration in place is school. the taste of freedom is really really good and makes me shiver in anticipation.

i cannot wait for this term to end and for my internship to start. its excitement in its purest form knowing that i will be doing something i have never done before. meeting new ppl - smart ones at that. PLUS many of my REAL friends will be in Singapore during that period for their internship too.should be a fun 10 weeks.

may my journey towards the end of the term be of sweet and calm nature. and then my internship to be intensive and fun. and my holiday to wherever i decide to travel of the exciting nature. and my trip home to be full of love :)!
fun fun fun!!!

decided

1) i am done
2) life IS full of people who puts themselves first before anyone else, and the only way to work around it IS to put yourself first
3) be wary of EVERYONE and always take steps to safeguard oneself
4) have a VERY small group of people you can trust and never trust anyone else
5) ALWAYS remember people change
6) revert to old self

Lessons to survive in this world.
And today marks my lost of faith in mankind.

argh

ok this past week, my mood have been fluctuating from self reflecting, to calm, to resolved, to suddenly having the urge to scream at certain people, to being annoyed, to being confused to a lot of things la.. i know wat is it that is causing these mood swings but i can't seem to get rid of it..
hallo can you stop haunting me already? grrrrrrrrrrr..

sometimes i feel like i have accepted it, sometimes i just feel mm kam sam.. celaka babi betul rite? my fault entirely for getting myself involved in such a complicated and judgemental environment. why can't i be happy with being normal and do what other ppl are doin? live a non turbulent drama free life. (though i seem to have a knack to have drama in my life =.=) i wish i am a person who wants things everyone looks for as well- good job, good degree, good bf.. why do i have to want beyond? so ambitious for what??

i have never thought there will be a day where i wished i have never met you. but i have come to it.seriously. i am a stage where i can forgo whatever that came with you just to be normal. to not have all these drama in life. to not have these stupid emotions fluctuating within.

obviously this is just a rant. i guess the internal need for me to want more and do things that are extraordinary is never going to go. i forsee it bringing even more dramas and challenges to my life. its never going to go away. even if i didn't meet you, i would find another avenue to attain my need for more which will result still in dramas albeit different ones. but at this point, it still remains that i wish i didnt meet you.
either let me scream at the ppl i want to or let me have some peace. can? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

guess what - screw you

I never thought I could feel SO happy amidst rejection. Seriously I definitely went through the ultimate of emotions just now.. numb, fear,relief then the ultimate happiness. Bawled like a baby in relief just now when I found out I still have the support of my LC. My EBs flocked to share their love and support. And i still have the confidences of people i look up to and care for. This moment totally defines how awesome it is to be a lcp.
I have the faith of my LC. The people I work with.
Do you?
Seriously do you?
Guess what?
Screw you.