argh

ok this past week, my mood have been fluctuating from self reflecting, to calm, to resolved, to suddenly having the urge to scream at certain people, to being annoyed, to being confused to a lot of things la.. i know wat is it that is causing these mood swings but i can't seem to get rid of it..
hallo can you stop haunting me already? grrrrrrrrrrr..

sometimes i feel like i have accepted it, sometimes i just feel mm kam sam.. celaka babi betul rite? my fault entirely for getting myself involved in such a complicated and judgemental environment. why can't i be happy with being normal and do what other ppl are doin? live a non turbulent drama free life. (though i seem to have a knack to have drama in my life =.=) i wish i am a person who wants things everyone looks for as well- good job, good degree, good bf.. why do i have to want beyond? so ambitious for what??

i have never thought there will be a day where i wished i have never met you. but i have come to it.seriously. i am a stage where i can forgo whatever that came with you just to be normal. to not have all these drama in life. to not have these stupid emotions fluctuating within.

obviously this is just a rant. i guess the internal need for me to want more and do things that are extraordinary is never going to go. i forsee it bringing even more dramas and challenges to my life. its never going to go away. even if i didn't meet you, i would find another avenue to attain my need for more which will result still in dramas albeit different ones. but at this point, it still remains that i wish i didnt meet you.
either let me scream at the ppl i want to or let me have some peace. can? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR