aftermath

is AWESOMENESS in its purest form :D After examness is really the best.

Had outings with girlfrens, main masak-masak, watch movie into the wee hours of the night, yada yada yada.. very very nice..

And i have laughed so much within these few days that it totally eradicated all the negative built up energy caused by the dreadful e.. [ which includes the cinema episode (6 for 7) and the roomie came back episode ]
I guess there is still hope for me :P i see glimpses of my old self again.

The only thing that is not pretty is dat galfrens are leaving for kl soon!! I will only be able to see all of them when i am back after nlds.. ooooo kl is going to be fun fun fun :D

PS : i miss my roomie la....

OLD-er

On a trip out to JP not so very long ago, my girlfrens and I realised something. Something that hit me by surprise.

Ok background info :

We met a junior who is super energetic, spirited and basically just radiating with the glow of after examness ( though she glows of excitement practically all the time). She was basically jumping up and down ( in an excited way, not literally) telling us something . The conversation lasted like half a minute and she was gone off to continue what she was doing.( imagine talking to a very excited person and woosh she was gone.. very fast paced..) The moment she left, girlfriends said, "omg that reminds me of you.. when you were a freshie." EVERYONE agreed. Then it struck me that I have not felt that way in a long long while.

OMG have i lost all my energy? my enthusiasm? have i become an old sedate person??? it really made me wonder.. it would be nice to say that its because i have matured. (though matured does not necessarily mean dull :s) Where have all my energy gone? Its like the sun sucked it off me or something.
My first year was filled with stuff to do, really crazy, meetings from end to end.. I have no idea how i survived. Year 2 is more relaxed with less stuff to do.. Is it possible that i need to have lots of stuff to do to ensure that i am constantly on the go? to keep the adrenaline rushing and the energy flowing? Hmm something to ponder upon..

But being an economics person, (ok random, just wanna remind everyone i am an economics major .. mengada ) i guess i cannot discount off the fact that exams have been running for a while now.. its probably that its cos of this period that i feel lifeless , mundane and bored..
I am pretty sure NLDS is going to be an energy booster for me.. plus awesome time spent with my frens post exams..

hmm.. maybe there is still hope for me ..

countdown- 4 days

obviously to the end of this torturous affair - that starts with a huge E.. i've had 2 days of blissfully sinful slack-ish days..but the fear is here again. the fear that causes the adrenaline to run and the heart to pump fast.. gah.. its probs and stats ONE.. it should be relatively EASY!! hallo its supposed to built up our confidence for probs and stats TWO. not scare us off and make us feel like hiding under a well :s

on a happier note, after exams plans :
1. lepak with frens
2. shopping
3. watch movie - New moon!!!
4. AIESEC work
5. catching up with frens
6. NLDS!!
7. KL :D

to a certain extent i feel like i don't really care anymore as long as its over. but on the other hand its bloody 4 aus. MENcelakaKAN!!

PS : studying mathematics and economics really has increased the probability that I have multiple personality disorder. I find myself studying econs with maths methods and maths with econs methods.. patutla i kantoi mantoi all the time :s

i got the exams fever i can't be stopped

exams is coming AGAIN.. sien tiao.. have to endure another 6 times including this one. This sem passed by really fast. In a blink of an eye, doomsday is damn near again. GAH.. mug mug mug all the way..

I am looking forward to the end of all this as there is NLDS to anticipate ( which is going to be super awesome) and home to enjoy.. Wanted really bad to travel but with the sky high air tickets, ah tak mampu la saya.. esp when i have not been working for so long and saving up to go to europe ( cross fingers) for my exchange.

Thankfully for this hellish exams period, my support system is everready :) i think i am in love :P in love with my galfrens ..
time to continue mugging.. gonna try to do it in the room this time. lets just hope this thing in front of me will not distract me ( study room no place :s)
study study study ... ish ish ish...

thank goodness for them

who ? My galfrens .. my support system.. this week has been pretty sucky. had some negative thoughts swimming around this twisted mind of mine. felt small, incapable, not efficient and the list goes on.. thankfully i have an awesome support system in uni and support system at home. i <3 them so much! and i really really do! do i feel better? i still feel sucky. but thankfully i have ppl who can share this sucky feeling with me.

School is sucky! exams shitty.. galfrens awesome !! thank goodness for that..

this post is a tribute to my awesome galfrens.. and a declaration that i hate school :P

countdown - one month and 4 days

to.......... FINALS! shitty..

i have been very inefficient this sem. Really. feel free to slap this lazy person to remind her that finals is coming in 4 freaking weeks and she still has 2 projects to submit. Plus her aiesec responsibilities.

argh i am feeling very very very very very small at the moment. as if i am not capable of anything good. gah.. ke-pekchik-an.

with my screwed up sleeping cycle, i am headed for doom-nation :O

sila bangun dari ke-inefficiency-an anda and start to kick ass..

(ok la i have been pretty hardworking for the last two weeks catching up with all my lectures for midterm. but after midterms, i need to be reminded that finals is also coming!!!! wake up carmen -smacks!!-)

of love. and den of frustration fun

For the love part,

I attended my cousin's wedding yesterday. And really it was a nice one. You can clearly tell my cousin was in love with his wife as his wife is to him. Simple wedding but rather touching i would say. And my cousin was grinning practically the whole time :) Happiness in the air is rather contagious and emphasized with spending time with the family. It was really good distraction from the academic 'hell' i had going on in my head due to linear.

For the frustration fun part,

Of course , back to real world the moment i am back in school ( of course i was sneaking looks at my notes during the wedding whenever i can). Deciding that suffering personally was too hard to bear me and roomate decided to crash study with out fellow malayian school mates. And i will tell you that was really one good decision. my confused mind was enlighten numerous times and my darkened scowl was brightened by random laughter of craziness. Thank god for awesome support system or really school WILL be a living hell with spawns of evil like linear algebra ( ok random)and i found out my hair styling skills may just be my mattress if i fall from uni academic level due to math (ok that sentence do not really makes sense)- just trying to be poetic.

Doomsday is in 3 hours. Scared and have a shitty feeling that i may just not score a single mark. But having assured that i can still go into hair styling ( random. thanks model gwo shiou) if i fail, i am gonna continue chiong-ing.