sometimes i feel like i am walking in a dream after coming back from europe. or sometimes as if i am acting in a dramatic play of life. the only time i feel real is when i am back home with the family.or when i am in the aiesec office.or when i am with my LTs working.
i need to get back to real life. where school starts and my gfs are back(omg come back already!). where recruitment kicks in and real in your face aiesec business starts. or just stay in kl for a loong time with the family. spend time with my ntu friends. or my malaysian friends.or my roommate. or my 09/10 eb. or even with my books. being in familiar surroundings and with the basic essence of my life. simple, straightforward and without drama. where there is no need for second guessing, or guessing in any sense for that matter. no games, no mess and no fuss.
i wish i could turn off this rollercoaster of emotions playing in me but with everything not quite settled and my support system basically just not where i am , it is annoyingly hard to get rid of.
i am heading back to singapore yet again. the prospects of awesomeness for aiesec in ntu and singapore is making this trip back way easier.but still, with my support system either workign or waaay far away, this feeling of being in a dream is bound to hit me again.and a family gathering this sunday in kl is going to be hell to resist.2 more weeks and i will be off to another big event of my life. IC india! yet to feel really excited bout it. i guess the drama i have had this summer is enough to last me a looong time. i guess the only way to get around this now is to think that i am going for IC for my LC. harness resources for us to grow. that should bring out the fire in me.
pls start living already !
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